Jan, 2019
New year, new life. Entering 2019 with no more toxic and fresh life.
Yes, still with the same guy. What an achievement! No one can ever last with me this long, and you guys know that. Back then, all I met was trash. But this one? This one is the sweetest yet charming. So proud to call him mine.
Every relationship has its up and down. 6 months, and we went through it together perfectly. Eventho it's only been 6 months, I always wanted to marry the guy who save me from the broken heart. And here I am with him!
Honestly, being too attached makes me scared to lose him. And no, I don't wanna lose him.
I remember everything that we went through together. The events, the promises, the road trips.
He told me he doesn't have any close friends. He left because they betrayed him. I made a surprise birthday dinner for him. I made all my best friends be his friends. I invited them all to dinner. Surprisingly he cried. he wasn't expecting any of my friends will be shown up. Well, anything for my baby kan?
I remember celebrating Dell's birthday. God, that was the best moment I ever felt. Again, everyone was there except for Caca. My baby and Faris lah orang kuat for this birthday surprise. I'm really glad that everyone enjoyed that night. Terlebih enjoyed actually. I'm glad tho.
On 2019 New Year, we went to Cameron Highland. Our first holiday together! I feel blessed! what a good starting for 2019 I thought. Yeah, I said that. I thought.

Feb, 2019
Kita dah start jarang jumpa and I totally understand that. Baby needs to work, baby needs to earn his own money. I get it. Everything went well juga even jarang jumpa. We still talked to each other. Every time he got back from work, he will call me. I even stayed up till 4am-5am only to wait for him to settle his jobs. But I honestly fine with that, I understand.
One day, his SIL got admitted due to high fever. We were so worried. Things changed juga, but that's fine with me. Family comes first. I even went and visit her. Breaks my heart actually because she used to be a happy-go-lucky person, but that time she's weak. I felt sorry for my baby's family.
After 6 days, I got a call from my baby. "Kak Awa dah takde, sedekahkan Al-Fatihah"
Allahu, even I just met her its so heartbreaking to hear to that news. Poor my baby, dia baru nak merasa ada  kakak, Ibu and Ayah baru nak merasa ada anak perempuan. And Along yang baru 3 bulan kahwin. Ya Allah, it was 1am and  I rushed to the Hospital with Mel. Try our best to be there with the family. When we got there, I saw him. Tearing, he hugged me, tight. But he really tries to hide his emotion but I know that he's broken.
Every night, he cried tak boleh terima kenyataan. Dah jarang on call. Allah, I felt so bad as a girlfriend. I wish I could take his pain away. I wish I have a car so I could drive there and be with him. But his family need him more. They need each other. All I can do is just gave him moral support.
God, I'm already tearing up thinking the next words I'm about to type.